No name of it yet….

I suppose this is the beggining of chapter one? I was bored one night and started writing a story…And I don’t care that normally ‘Hanna” is spelled with an ‘H’ at the end. Tis my story, and my name :] Sorry that the story totally sucks! Please give suggestions on how to make it…not suck?

 

Hanna was awake for a bit before she opened her large eyes. And once again, she was woken to the sound of fighting below her. After blinking a few times to clear her vision, she looked at the digital clock in her room. The small red lights in it spelled out the time as being 5:14AM. ‘So,’ Hanna thought, ‘Their fights are getting earlier and earlier in the morning. Or, perhaps they were up all night.’

Hanna really didn’t know, and Hanna really didn’t care. All she cared about was when the divorce of her parents would be, and who she would be going with. She didn’t mind that her thoughts could be described as cold, or heartless. They’d been fighting for the past 12 months of her 14 year long life, and she was really growing sick of hearing their raised voices, and the occasional crash of something else thrown in a fit of rage. Unlike most girls her age, Hanna didn’t allow herself the deluded fantasy that her parents would work through whatever they were going through. That they’d remember why they fell in love in the first place, and pure romance would take the place of whatever problems they were having. Honestly, that lovey dovey shit only happened in the movies, and Hanna knew it.

Despite her pure exhaustion, Hanna found the strenght to stand up. She knew she’d never be able to fall asleep again anyways, she never could after she was woken up. She rolled out of bed, and walked to the mirror. Sometimes, she liked to look at her reflection. Narcissism played a very small roll in her personality.

She looked at her hair, thin, layered, short and red. And she looked at the features of her face, her slightly long nose and hazel eyes. She admired her-

“I AM NOT PICKING UP THE RADIO!” a loud crash from below, and the voice shreiking with rage that she knew as her mothers was all it took to break her train of thoughts. ‘Okay,’ she decided, ‘Time to get out of the house.’

She was very familiar of getting out of the house without going downstairs. She did it very often. And, after throwing a large yellow t-shirt over her cami that she wore to sleep, she would do it again.

Opening the window, she climbed on to the roof. The roof was steepest here, so she very carefully moved while on it. Sitting on the roof, she managed to move very far left, where she grabbed hold of a tree branch. And, after carefully climbing down the tree, she was free from her house. She was in the crisp morning air of the summer month of August, and free to roam her neighborhood.

She chose to go to her best friends house, Mark. His house always had a positive feel to it. His family was so laid back, they were basically awesome. His parents were far from strict, and he’d been Hanna’s best friend forever since gradeschool. He’d been an only child, like Hanna, and the two protected eachother from drama since kindergarten. (The drama in kindergarten of someone stealing your markers was quite horrifying.)

They always stayed quiet while the one would rant, and had the most fun together when they were both in a good mood. Thier countless inside jokes proved this fact. If Hanna said something that made absolutely no sense at all, Mark would understand perfectly what she was talking about. The two were indeed wonderful friends.

However, on this day, as Hanna arrived at Marks house, she realized that no one was home. Her first clue to this was when she saw didn’t see the normal winter green Nissan Sentra in the driveway. And when she found that the door was locked, she’d connected the two clues in her mind, and in much disappointment, walked away.

Luckily, she had a back up house that she could go to. Her other best friend, Lelias house. Lelia was a wonderful person, and although Lelia and Hanna weren’t as close as Hanna and Mark, the two were still wonderful friends. They had met in fifth grade, when Lelia moved to this communtity.  But, it wasn’t until reaching the front porch of Lelia’s house did Hanna remember that, much to Lelia’s dismay, her family had taken a vacation to go Alaska to go skiing.

So, for once in her life, Hanna was truely alone. Her friends, her wonderful friends, her entire support system through her entire life, were both currently away from their neighborhood. Hanna didn’t care that maybe if she had more than two friends, she might have somewhere to go. The only having two friends had worked for a long time, she wasn’t about to change that. Enough was already changing.

Perhaps she was simply feeling more sorry for herself than she should’ve been, but she was feeling insanely sad as she walked slowly back to her own house. Sounds of fighting could be heard from the outside, and, not bothering to reclimb the tree and return to her room through the same window that she’d exited it, she opened the door and tried to quietly climb the stairs. Unfortunatly, she’d forgotten that the stairs were creaky, and she was called in to the living room with her parents.

The anger in the living room could be felt when someone walked in. Both her parents were frowning, and her father quickly asked, “Where have you been?”

Hanna glared at her parents for a moment, before responding with, “I was out in the communtity.”

It was Hanna’s mothers turn to ask a question. “How did you get out there? We didn’t hear you…”

“I walked through the door.” Hanna lied simply. And, much to her surprise, her parents didn’t say anything more on the matter.

Instead, they took turns informing Hanna that they would be getting a divorce. Hannas father would be leaving town, moving from the state of New Jersey to the state of California. Hanna’s mother would be staying here, in New Jersey. And it was up to Hanna to decide who she’d live with.

Pausing for a moment, Hanna didn’t answer right away. She knew her answer, she’d stay with her mom. She decided this a few months ago, when the idea of divorce had first entered her head. The descision was easy, she’d be staying with her mom because her mom was staying here. If her dad was staying here, then she’d be staying with her dad.

But her dad was moving. To California. This was the thought that surprised Hanna the most. California!? Why couldn’t he just move to another county, rather than another state? Or perhaps a different city. Hanna was expecting that after the divorce, she’d still get to see both of her parents.

However, she didn’t let this affect her descision. And, after a few moments, she very quietly answered. “Here,” She said. “I’m staying here…with mom.”

Her parents nodded in unison, and both walked away to seperate rooms, leaving Hanna there to think even more about what the hell just happened.

Thoughts at…morning

Well, this blog entry is started at 3:52 AM. I don’t know what it’s about, or when i’ll finish writing it. I know that I really should go to sleep, but I so don’t want to. And I know that music is the only thing keeping me company right now, because everyone signed offline. I also know that “I Am The Walrus” by The Beatles is a fuckin weird song.

Usually, these blog posts are the ones with the deep insightful thoughts about life. But right now, I don’t have any deep insightful thoughts about life. The music is now Miss Delany by Jacks Mannequin. I don’t always love sharing my thoughts on life. And i’m certainly not very good at the whole deep thinking thing. Not as good as Abi, or Mere, or Blu. Or anyone.

I’m really not good at a lot of things. Well, rephrase. I fail miserably at life. But thats okay. I don’t care that i’m talentless, because I have the things that keep me happy. I have my family, and my friends, and my inside jokes, and my favorite tv shows, and my favorite music. I have my fairly good will power, that kept me offline for the 40 days of lent. I also have those little insignificant things that I sometimes focus my attention on.

But if you think about it, everything is insignificant. Most everything, anyways. Any little bit of the drama that puts you through hell. Or stupid fights, and complaining about something retarted to someone. It drives me so crazy when I hear about the stupidest reasons to be mad at someone, but I don’t really want to hurt anyones feelings. Especially the feelings of my friends; I seriously care about them. So I keep my mouth shut, and allow people to continue complaning.

I can understand sensible ranting, about true issues. People have this way of driving themselves in to this closet in their mind, and the closet is plagued with things like anger, and depression, and loss, and any other adjective that is unhappy, that i’m missing. And in this closet, the door is always locked.

Everyone has their own methods of picking the lock on the door. Some choose to vent and rant to people. Some write about it in their diary, or perhaps a blog. Some ignore everything around them in this closet, and choose to sit in a corner of it. Whatever works for ya.

Me? I tend to do all three. Or doing silly tasks, like if your mad at someone, writing their name on a piece of paper and ripping it to shreds. No one gets hurt, and I end up feeling slightly better. I’ve also found that screamo music blasting in your ears so you can’t think, helps too.

And most of that is so insignificant. If you truely think about it, there are so many more problems in the world that our things of drama don’t even pale in comparison to. There is so much hunger around us, and everyone is to caught up in their lives to notice. Which is perfectly okay, I mean, people have some fuckin busy lives. And I’d be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t have problems that I ususally focused my attention on. But sometimes, I stop and think about that, and I realize how unimportant they are. But then, something breaks my train of thoughts and i’m right back like everybody else. Usually, sleep breaks my train of thoughts. I do most of my thinking before I go to sleep…

It’s 4:24, and i’ve run out of things to say. But i’m going to keep trying, because if ‘I’m talentless’ could turn in to those few tiny paragraphs, then perhaps I can keep going.

I really am talentless. But, and I have no idea how this is connected, I’ve realized ask any you shall recieve is quite a true statement. I realize how insanely shallow that sounds, but what i’m saying is if you ask for something, it’ll eventually come. You just have to be really patient, and it usually isn’t what you were expecting. But, nevertheless, what you ask for does come.

Wow, a ton of people are probably going to disagree with that last paragraph. But i’m just writing about my expirence, and thats what i’ve found.

So, i’ve decided to start blasting screamo music; Alesana. But i’m sure you’re totally interested in that.

Well, now it’s 4:32, and i’m gonna stop writing for now. At least, stop writing about this topic, whatever this topic actually is. Well, whatever it is, it’s grown really really dull….

Mitch Hedberg

Okay, so Mitch Hedberg died in…2005, on a drug overdose. [I'm not judging.]

He is soooo fuckin funny, and tonight while i’m sitting in my extreme boredom, I found some amazing quotes from him, and I felt like sharing.

“In England Smoky the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smacky the Frog. It’s just like a bear, but it’s a frog. I think it’s a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought ‘man, I’d better play dead. Here comes that frog…’ You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It’s always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, al-right. Maybe he’ll come near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he’s used to. And I’m pretty sure I’d have to punch some holes in the lid, because he’s damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won’t be doing much in his 16 ounce world.”

“I’m against picketing but I don’t know how to show it.”

“I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.”

 ”I played golf… I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That’s way more satisfying…”

“I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dance would drive you crazy.”

“My apartment is infested with koala bears. It’s the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don’t want them too. I’m like, “Hey… Hold on fellows… Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf.” Koala are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head. “

“I type a 101 words a minute. But it’s in my own language.”

Okay, so those were my favorite Mitch Hedberg quotes…RIP, Mitch Hedberg.