Hmm….

OH yes, i’m writing in my blog. I fear that i’ve been becoming somewhat closer to my enjoyment of writing than before. I mean, writing is all well and good, but a blog? I havn’t thought of it in a while.

Essentially, two very long diary entries are describing how I feel. It’s needless to post them here because not only are aspects of them things that I don’t want others to see, but I really don’t think ANYONE is reading this, haha.

And, right now, certain people aren’t talking to me. She’s totally avoiding me, i’m sure of it. And no matter what she says…well the most simple way to put it is “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter”

Which is SO true, so if she sees this she can know that…she can’t bullshit me.

The only reason that I put that in such terms is because I miss her, and that fact that she won’t talk to me kinda hurts me.

Ive been thinking about them a TON lately. Mostly about all of the times that we had when we were all insanely close, Me and Michele and Kev and James. Well, Michele and Kev were really close, and me and James tagged along. But the fun things we did- Played starwars, made TONS of “movies”[and one in paticular included bringing leaves in to the house, haha.. that was my favorite]. It was with them that Who Da Trust was originated, hell I’ve even been thinking about that stupid little fountain in their house and how you would hit the table to make it work. Haha I used to love sitting at their counter and playing with it and getting bored really quickly…

I’ve been thinking about the boat game from their swingset, the time me and michele walked down to a little stream, playing starwars, hiking through the woods to the well. I’ve been thinking about when Michele tried to teach me piano, or the time that we made up this whole dance thing [michele did piano, me and james 'danced', kev sang-i think"

Or when she explained to me how her American Doll's hair was growing....that was weird, haha.

Or the time when I slept over after the baby shower, and briana was bothering us SO much.

Or the time when we played "Challenge" in the pool [the first time...]

Or the time when we played starwars…again.

Or the time when we decided whos “worlds” were whos.

Or the time we played Secrets of Droon because Kev and Michele wanted me and James to go away- haha me and James spent all day afraid that those little red monsters would appear…[what were they called?]

Or the time that I threw a fit, and Michele felt bad so she gave me the Scorch beanie-baby. [I still have that somewhere...]

Or the time that we sat in her computer chair, going back and forth between pages on COTH, logging out and logging in as ourselves, trying to get as much posted as humanly possible.

Or the time we all spent all day playing DDR. [james failed at that game...]

Or when we would spend all day organizing a competition, but only getting a few minutes to play them because we spent the whole time setting them up.

Or when we built forts in the living room. I don’t remember that time specifically, but I know we’ve done that too, haha.

Or when James was so excited to tell me that they were having a party in his basement for the new year.

Or when we were making posters in their special room in the basement, and Maggie and Briana were stamping the floor.

Or when we first met her first boyfriend, Andrew, and decided that his ears were WAY bigger than Kevs [haha...]

Or when James was supposed to move up in swimming lessons, and he didn’t because he wanted to stay with me.

Or when we spent a whole day of “Free swim” stacking up those float board thingys, building up until I could get the bravery to jump off the diving board.

And then, she got hooked online. And then, I got hooked online. And then, we were closer than ever, having fun with sidewalk chalk and AIM Rp’s. We would have entire conversations about it, totally connecting as though the characters actually existed. As though they were real people that we saw every day, which they aren’t. They SO Aren’t! They’re fake..things. Hell, according to Kev they wouldn’t even have genders. [Appearntly cartoons don't have genders? I don't know, Kev and Molly are weird, haha...]   .  And then I left, and somehow we don’t talk anymore. And Kev, he moved on, too. Now me and Kev are closer than ever, which I do love. And james, he never had to deal with any of it, that lucky bastard.

I realize that things change, but did they really change so much because of a fucking online world? Somehow that website always ends up more important. Now, shes coding PP and didn’t even take the time to tell me that she was too busy to talk.

Hahaha…I can’t believe i’m ranting about this. After all the time spent with Kev, deciding that PP, and anything related to that website was SO unimportant…I seriously dont know what i’d do without my brother. And I don’t know what i’m GOING to do when he goes to college…[he had BETTER visit, otherwise there won't be enough sarcastic ego-maniacs in the house]

 

And theres so much more. So much stuff unrelated to this…but, my dear imaginary reader, I feel i’ve tortured you enough- that is if you’ve had the attention span to make it this far. And, my thoughts are WAY too tired to even ATTEMPT to figure out how the hell to put all of that in words.

 

So thats it for now <3